Leafs Flush Crapitals

Toronto 7 Washington 1

TORONTO – The Leafs jumped to an early lead 23 seconds in with a goal by Ed Lampros and then cruised for the next 59 minutes and 37 seconds. Despite some bad penalties early on, the Leafs built their momentum and skated circles around the glacially slow Capitals.

Renberg was the big star with 2 goals and 2 assists. "I felt like I was playing against a Tiny-Mite team out there. I mean, those guys should do some practicing or else they’ll get hurt", Renberg said after the game. Leafs Captian Mats Sundin commented to reporters in a post game interview that "even though they played like shit, we’ll take the win."

The Washington Dressing room looked like the opening credits of a Richard Simmons video as the bloated players gasped for breath between cups of beer flavoured sports drink. "We need to get back in shape and back into the season." The once mulleted Jaromir Jagr told reporters. "We have to focus on when we looked good out there and build up on that." he added.

Unfortunately for the Craps, they only looked good during the national anthems, and even then a lot of the fans at the new MLG thought they were just posing.

Toronto is tied for first in the East with the New York Rangers, the Florida Panthers, New Jersey Devils and Philadelphia Flyers. Ed Lampros is still tied for third in scoring but now with 7 points. The Leafs next game is against the New Jersey Devils in Jersey.